Meet Your Characters
by InsanelyWitchyMango
Summary: the writers' tea is interrupted by the most unexpected visitors...plus a follow-up of OOC-ness to the extreme in a debate! R&R AND VOTE!
1. jean's characters

**My first crossover please give me feedback. Oh, yeah, I checked on J.K.'s official website. Her first name is Jean.**

Stephanie and Jean were sitting at Jean's tea table, eating Stephanie's famous lemon squares, while reading each other their latest work.

"what was your last line in your series?" Stephanie asked Jean. Before Jean could answer, there came a knock on the door. They rolled their eyes. Reporters had been streaming in all day for clues on their last novels in the series.

Stephanie and Jean got up, walked across the room, and opened the door.

There stood three teens, a boy who had messy black hair and green eyes, another boy who had flaming red hair, and the last, a girl, had curly long, brown hair. The golden trio. Jean almost fainted. Behind them was Lily and James potter, next to Harry was Ginny. There was also mad-eye, Remus, Sirius and Tonks. "um, may we come in?" James asked, uncertainly. Jean blinked. "yes, of course." Jean answered calmly.

But inside, she was jumping like a maniac. MY VERY OWN CHARACTERS ARE IN MY HOUSE!

Jean and Stephanie poured tea for the characters.

The doorbell rang. Stephanie went to get it. _Who could it be?_ She thought as she went to the door.

When she opened it she more shocked than when she had her "book dream" as she called it.

There were _her_ inhumanly beautiful characters, the Olympic coven.

"may we come in?" Carlisle inquired in a voice as soft as velvet.

**Please REVIEW! It makes me feel appreciated.**


	2. stephanie's characters

**New chappie! Stephanie's turn!**

"um, of course." Stephanie stuttered.

She looked at Bella, her main character. She was a vampire. But, her eyes…they were… _golden._

The coven walked inside gracefully.

They sat near the potters. _They must be holding their breath. _She thought. Jean stood up. "your hostesses are just having a little chat." She confirmed as she and Stephanie backed out of the room, into the kitchen.

"OUR CHARACTERS ARE IN OUR HOUSE!" they whisper yelled.

"you know, I think that they're from the year after we finish our sagas!" Jean whispered excitedly. "yes, they are because Bella's eyes are golden, and when I finished the saga, they were red." Stephanie agreed. "the golden trio are _eighteen!"_ Jean marveled.

"now what are we going to do?" Jean asked.

"whado you mean?"

"how are we going to entertain a pack of wizards and vampires?"


	3. entertainment

**All Jacob lovers, he's in the Olympic coven with nessie! Review, and read my other story!**

"I really have no idea.", Stephanie admitted. "Hey, you remember that silly debate we had, wizards versus vampires?", Jean asked randomly.

They went back into the room. "Entertainment is coming, just wait as we set up the things.", Stephanie declared. "Uh, could one of you come help us?", Jean asked. Hermione came and helped them put up the tables and pushing everything aside. The tables were arranged with the table on the top of the unfinished square, one table on each side so the bottom was void. Each table had two chairs.

"Okay, so one thing, we know that you are vampires, and you are wizards, and Remus and Jacob are werewolves.", Stephanie announced.

"And we're having a debate. So two vampires on that side and two wizards on that side.", Jean added, pointing to the left and right in turn.

"And the others on the sofas.", Stephanie concluded.

"And we're the judges!", Jean finished. Each group got into a huddle, and finally, they picked. On the left, Edward and Carlisle sat and on the right, Moody and James sat. Jean and Stephanie seated themselves on the top table.

"The motion is…", Stephanie began. "Who's better…", Jean started. "Vampires…", Stephanie trailed off. "Or Wizards!", Jean finished. And the representatives discussed.

**Ooh… cliffhanger! I always do cliffy though** REVIEW **for the next chappie! **


	4. awkwaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrdd

**You guys, girls, are the best! Keep up the good work!**

"Okay, have your points?", Jean asked.

Both sides nodded.

"Okay, vampires, choose…", Stephanie began.

"Heads or tails?", Jean finished the vital question. After some discussion, they answered.

"Heads"

"So the wizards are tails", Stephanie concluded.

Harry pumped his fist into the air. "WOO-HOO!", he yelled.

Jean flipped the coin. It landed on…

"HEADS! WOO-HOO!", Emmet shouted.

Carlisle started. "I'm on the Forbes, top fifteen fictional rich!", he whined.

James snorted and said, "So? Have you heard what you just said? Fictional!".

Edward countered. "Well… we're inhumanly beautiful!", he said, posing as though for paparazzi.

"SO! We've been through the wars, and our scars are trophies! You haven't got any!", Mad-eye growled.

This was getting more amusing by the second, with poor Jean and Stephanie trying to write out the points clearly.

"SO! We don't put on any weight! We don't have to go to weight watchers!", Carlisle said in a high-pitched voice.

"SO! At least we don't kill and suck blood! you bloodsuckers!", James threw back.

A loud shout interrupted them.

"YEAH! YOU GO WIZZIES!", Jacob shouted.

Everybody stared at him.

And stared.

And stared.

And stared…

**Yeah, awkward Jacob moment. REVIEW MY PRETTIES! OR YOU SHALL BE VOLDY AND I"LL BE ALICE! (read my other story, 99 ways to annoy voldemort)**


	5. you  mutt!

**Hello! I'm very sorry I didn't update sooner, I was caught up in my other fanfic! (READ IT ON MY PROFILE!) so, go on and R&R!**

And kept on staring.

"WHAT DID I DO!", Jacob howled, confused.

"You're supposed to be on our side, you mutt!", Edward chastised.

And then they stared at him.

"I mean, uh, _Jacob_", he coughed.

They went back to the debate.

"Well, we've lived centuries, and we haven't died!", Carlisle whined, in a nasal sound.

"That means you're unnatural! You vampires are freaks of nature!", James insulted.

"Yeah, well we can_", Edward stopped in mid-sentence.

A bolt of lightning flashed and it started raining like crazy.

Then with a _CRACK! _ Somebody appeared.

"Miss me!", the person sneered.

Everybody screamed.

And another person cried,

"IT'S VOLDEMORT!"

**I just love cliffhangers! Now, review or voldemort will turn you into a frog!**


	6. AGAIN?

**Remember one thing, this is a HUMOR! So voldemort isn't evil, so read on!**

Everybody was screaming and running around in circles like maniacs.

Voldemort looked surprised. "Isn't this Jean Kathleen Rowling's house?", he read from a paper.

They calmed down a bit. "Yes, I'm Rowling", she panted. Running around in circles, screaming your head off, was exhilarating. "Why are you here?", Stephanie panted, for the same reason Jean was.

"Aro Volturi challenged me to a dark lord competition.", he said grumpily and slumped into a chair.

"He should be here any minute now…", he trailed off as the door was kicked down, and walked through was Aro, one of the three original vampires of Volturi. He bared his teeth. "Are you ready, wanna-be dark lord?", he snarled.

"Why you little_", Voldemort lunged for him and punched him. They heard a deafening crack of a bone being broken. Voldemort's hand had broken under the marble hard skin.

He stared in disbelief at his knuckle and muttered, pointing his wand at the knuckle, "Episky", and his hand was mended.

He pointed his wand at Aro. "Stupe_", just as he was going to stun the vampire, Rowling scolded his attempt. "If you want to duel or fight, do it outside, Voldy and Aro."

"Sorry", they mumbled. Voldemort put his wand in to his pocket. They both slumped down at the same time.

"So, anyway, it's only fair_", Carlisle was interrupted by another _CRACK! _ Out side the door.

"Not again!", Stephanie complained as they screamed and ran in circles, not bothering to open the door.

**Now, I don't think that the debate will go on. I also think that the story is going to end soon. Well, I don't know, you have to review to find out!**


	7. Lemon drops and Betrayers

**Yes, I know I've been long. Yes, I was keeping you in suspense on purpose. Now, bon appetite!**

"Now who would fancy a lemon drop?", a cheerful voice boomed from outside.

Jean opened the door to reveal Professor Dumbledore, armed with two kids, one who seemed excited, who was a boy about sixteen, who seemed to be the brother of the surly and sour girl, who seemed about nineteen or twenty, with their identical choppy, black hair, and beautiful russet skin.

Their clothes were ripped, but few. "Come in?", Jean said, not really meaning for it to be a question.

"Thank you, Mrs. Rowling.", Dumbledore said, and was led into the house, towing the two teens in.

"These is Seth and Leah Clearwater", Dumbledore introduced cheerfully.

"And I, myself, am_", Dumbledore was cut off by James. "Professor Dumbledore!", accompanied by Sirius and Remus.

"Ah, the marauders", he smiled.

"Which reminds me…", and with a wave of his wand, another small, watery sort of man was forced to joined them.

"So, we meet again, Worm tail, or should I say Voldy-pop's spy?", James said stiffly.

**Another humorous cliffie! This is what you get for not reviewing! (evil laugh)**


	8. Voldypoo add a p

**Long time no type. sorry, for being long. And leaving a cliffy.**

**: I**

"I prefer just plain Voldy", Voldy volunteered.

"I think Voldy-_poop_ suits you", Aro snickered quietly as Voldemort glared at him.

"Can we get back to the part where he's a betrayer?", James pointed at Pettigrew.

"Can we get back to the debate?", Edward whined.

"No"

"WHY!", Edward cried.

"CAN WE HAVE ORDER PLEASE!", Jean and Stephanie shouted.

Everyone froze, startled.

"So what do you propose we do?"

"Erm…", Jean glanced at Stephanie.

"I GOT IT!", Stephanie shouted as the power cut off.

"Of all the irony…", Jean muttered.

Stephanie ignored her.

"Let's read the books!"

"Great idea!"

"Huh?", They all said dumbly.

"We've written books…"

"…Separately of course. I wrote you guys", Jean pointed to her characters.

"…And I did you…", Stephanie said to her characters.

"SO WANT TO READ?", Stephanie and Jean shouted together.

"YES!"

So the two went to get the manuscripts from Jean's study.

**REVIEW!**


	9. they had a prat!

**Sorry for the cliffy. But I've got an idea! REVIEW!**

Both Jean and Stephanie came back with the first books of their sagas.

"Who first?", Jean asked.

"How about another heads and tales?"

Stephanie flipped her coin.

It landed on tales.

"WOO-HOO!", Harry shouted, pumping his fist.

So they settled down to read the book.

Jean started.

She cleared her throat and began to read.

_**The Boy Who Lived **_

_Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense. _

"My sister and walrus face! They had a baby?", Lily exclaimed.

**Yes, yes they did. And he's a prat.**


	10. Battle to the death

Long time no update, I see! (sidesteps flying crate) Er yes, before that inconvenient speeding book kills me, ON!

By the next morning both series were fully read.

"So…", James said, pale faced.

"I think it's safe to say Harry Potter's better", Ginny observed.

"NO IT'S _NOT_!", Bella whined.

"Harry's obviously awesomer", Sirius said.

"Shut up, dog", Jacob growled.

"You're one to talk", James retorted.

"Don't you dare—", Carlisle and Edward started as Ginny hit Bella with a bat bogey hex.

"Well aimed, little sis!", Fred and George appeared.

"HEY! Have some SYMPATHY!", Edward yelled, wiping Bella's runny nose, overflowing with mucus.

"Don't act all sacrificial, boy, I know your making cuckoo signs behind your back", Moody said in a deadly whisper.

Renesmee checked and yelled, "DADDY! How could you!"

Jacob glared at every Harry Potter character as he comforted his best friend/lover.

"Well, everyone, I think a battle to the death is in order!", Dumbledore sucked on a lemon drop.

They all stared at each other for a moment before a chorus of "YEAH!"s, "RIGHT ON!"s, and "I ACCEPT!"s were heard.

"I demand to have it, after our family hair salon daily visit, though", Carlisle flipped his blonde hair.

"And we're allowed to bring as many characters from our fandom we want", Hermione added.

"What about fanfictions?", Jasper asked.

"Fine, but only from , and they're not allowed to be Mary Sues by the Limitus test", Lily said.

When all the characters left Joanne's flat, Stephanie and Joanne exchanged a gleeful glance.

"I'll bring popcorn!", Jo called.

"Candy for me!", Steph yelled as they departed the flat.

**Not ended yet. Battle for one or two chapters, then an epilogue. Vote in your review about who gets Death on their side so they can bring characters back to life. **


	11. Red cards

Joanne and Stephanie set up the Lay-Z-boy recliners in binocular distance of the battle.

Dumbledore was voted as the referee.

"All violence under M rating allowed, all abilities and spells. Wait for my thumbs up or down before killing your assigned opponent", Dumbledore recited.

He matched everyone up, even making groups.

Fenrir Greyback, Remus Lupin, Teddy Lupin, and numerous other werewolves were against the pack.

Marauders and Lily Evans Potter against Carlisle, Emmett, Edward, Jasper and Alice.

Death had joined The Harry Potter Fandom, so Fred had a happy reunion with his family, as did Remus, Tonks, Dumbledore, and many others.

Voldemort and the Death Eaters joined in as well, after reading the Twilight books.

The fight commenced.

Everyone else was odd jobs, whereby they could fight who they wish.

One particular OC from fanfiction was allowed to fight Bella.

"But I want someone whose harder to take down than Stupefy and AK!", she whined.

Dumbledore considered.

Jacob, Sam, Rosalie and Bella were up against Alice, Ginny, Hermione and Bellatrix.

Bellatrix unsheathed a silver dagger and cut off numerous of Bella's body parts.

"Incendio"

Dumbledore made thumbs up sign.

"I've always hated dogs", Alice muttered as she jumped on the back of the phased Jacob.

He growled and Renesmee screamed and ran up as Alice pulled out her wand.

She rolled her eyes. "You were an annoying baby", she stated.

"Sectumsempra"

Rosalie and Bella lunged, as did the other vampires from Twilight.

Renesmee had enough blood to feed them all.

While they fed, The Harry Potter characters killed them off with discreet thumbs up from Dumbledore.

After they were all dead, Dumbledore set a box of red cards in front of them.

"They didn't wait for a thumbs up?", Alice guessed.

"Yeah, and they didn't give any to Sanguini. Had to kill him", Dumbledore replied.

They all shrugged and walked back into IWM's computer, chatting and laughing as they went back to their fanfictions.


	12. Epilouge

Aaww, I'll miss you too! And you, and you and that anonymous reviewer who never reviewed again, and…

Joanne rested her chin in her hand, elbow on the tabletop.

"You know, we should tell everyone about our _experience_", she said.

"Who'd believe us?", Stephanie sighed.

"Right…", Joanne trailed off. "HEY!", she made Stephanie jump as she jumped up herself.

"What?", Stephanie asked, annoyed, as she tried to clean the latte off her velvet skirt.

"We can have some insane Fanfiction writer write it for us!", Joanne explained in one breath.

"Brilliant! Let's call that one whose been filming us all this time!", Stephanie said, abandoning her tissue.

A small girl with a bright orange shirt and blue girl guide pants appeared next to their table, eyes shining behind her wire framed glasses.

"I thought you'd never ask!", The girl, as she was called, Alice, exclaimed as she plopped down next to Joanne and started typing frantically on her laptop.

"DOES THIS SHOP HAVE WI FI!", she yelled across to the counter.

The fancy pants man jumped and replied, stuttering, "Y-y-yes Miss"

She plugged in the password.

When a waitress came to ask her if she wanted anything, she snapped, "Don't bother me! When my reviewers start throwing the crates and books, I'll mention you!", and she went back to tapping at her laptop again.

Joanne leaned across to Stephanie and whispered, "I think I like this girl already"


End file.
